First-Aid for Difficult Emotions
In times of great loss, you may be confronted with unfamiliar or very intense emotions. A natural response is to keep a lid on them, but sooner or later suppressing emotions takes a physical and emotional toll. Try this First-AID plan for handling difficult emotions, and hopefully they will lessen and healing can begin.
Accept Whatever You are Feeling.
There is nothing wrong with any feeling you have, whether it is relief, envy, guilt, anger or rage. Not accepting your feelings, however, creates tension and an inner tug of war. Pay attention to physical cues; they are often the first sign of suppressed feelings - a lump in the throat, a knot in the stomach, a tensed jaw.
Identify Your Feelings.
Try to be specific about what you feel. "I feel bad" is fairly vague, whereas "I feel discouraged about the slow process I'm making," is more helpful. When you name your feelings, you're less likely to feel overwhelmed by them. Some common emotions after loss are sadness, despair, loneliness, fear, relief, guilt, and anger.
Do Something With Your Feelings.
Adapted from:
www.resourcesforgrief.com
Month 4 Enclosure
Accept Whatever You are Feeling.
There is nothing wrong with any feeling you have, whether it is relief, envy, guilt, anger or rage. Not accepting your feelings, however, creates tension and an inner tug of war. Pay attention to physical cues; they are often the first sign of suppressed feelings - a lump in the throat, a knot in the stomach, a tensed jaw.
Identify Your Feelings.
Try to be specific about what you feel. "I feel bad" is fairly vague, whereas "I feel discouraged about the slow process I'm making," is more helpful. When you name your feelings, you're less likely to feel overwhelmed by them. Some common emotions after loss are sadness, despair, loneliness, fear, relief, guilt, and anger.
Do Something With Your Feelings.
- Cry - let the dam break.
- Walk, run, or go to the gym.
- Beat a pillow or punching bag.
- Find a secluded place to yell.
- Tear up an old phone book or catalog.
- Talk to someone who can listen without judging.
- Depict your feelings with crayons, magic markers, or paint.
- Write about your feelings, even if it's anger towards God or the one who died. This isn't dishonoring of them; rather it helps you gain release.
- Tell others, when you've calmed down, how you feel when they offend you. For example: "I felt hurt when you said I should clear out his closet."
Adapted from:
www.resourcesforgrief.com
Month 4 Enclosure
